caring for others

In an internal workshop on generational diversity a few weeks ago, our speaker, Jamie Notter, discussed an example of a generational conflict in the workplace. In essence, the example illustrated two coworkers at odds - one who valued "talk time" and one who wanted to get down to business. There was more to it than that, but this is the piece that spoke to me.

I've always seen myself as the get-down-to-business type. Yes, I think I'm pretty good at socializing when I need to, but my patience for chit-chat when a business agenda is at hand is pretty marginal. There's a lot of value in getting to know your colleagues, but I think there's a time and a place - usually on the periphery of work. And, even more, I was taught that you just don't discuss personal topics with coworkers - you never know when it might come back to bite you. And now, with a baby at home and school after hours, my preference is to just focus on work at work.

Recently, I've discovered just how much other people value that kind of engagement. I've struggled in relationships with people who place a lot of value on interpersonal relationships and exchanges. But, I realized that it's not so much about sharing personal information; it seems like it's mostly about demonstrating that you care. When you ask questions (not of the too personal type, of course) about other peoples' lives, you show that you care about them as a person. When you share your life, you show that you are human. It seems quite obvious, but it was an eye-opener for me when the light bulb switched on. And, thought it's early to judge, it has seemed to make a significant difference in my relationships when I recently made an effort to take an interest in others' lives. I think it may even make life easier when conflict arises with those individuals.

Something to give thanks for this week.

(Oh, and by the way, Jamie's presentation was terrific!)